Chapter 12

My smirk as I watched Vivian’s lesson gradually faded.

—Smack!

Each time the switch struck Vivian’s forearm, even I couldn’t help but grit my teeth.

Hearing about it and actually witnessing it were entirely different experiences.

Vivian was being hit more than I thought, and the switch looked harsher than I’d imagined.

—Smack!

But Vivian didn’t flinch in the slightest. She didn’t even let out the faint groans I’d once heard from beyond the room.

Instead, she occasionally cast sidelong glances at me, as if to check whether I was watching closely.

Her expression was complex.

There was a certain degree of shame evident on her face.

—Smack!

That made 32 strikes.

There’s no way bruises wouldn’t form.

I looked over at Madam Linne. She listened to Vivian’s recitation without any change in expression.

Feeling more frustrated than I’d expected, I continued to let out quiet sighs.

“…Ha.”

I couldn’t understand why watching her get hit was so unpleasant.

.

.

.

The lesson finally ended after what felt like an eternity.

“Lady Vivian, I’ll see you later. Please have your meal and return.”

Madam Linne said, giving me a glance.

Clicking her tongue—tsk—she shot me a contemptuous look.

“…”

I returned her hateful gaze.

It made me wish my father had killed a few people from her family.

Since the lesson was over, I stood up as well.

I had planned to tease Vivian a bit to get back at her for her recent harassment... but I decided against it.

Punishment aside, Vivian’s expression wasn’t pleasant.

She stood there as if she’d burst into tears at the slightest touch.

Her ears were red—whether from shame or anger, I couldn’t tell.

So I tried to leave the room without a word.

“…Where are you going?”

But she spoke up.

When I turned around, Vivian was rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, wiping away tears.

Only after Madam Linne had left did she let the tears she’d been holding back flow.

“You... you said my life was better.”

“…What exactly are you trying to say?”

“Do you know how many times I was hit?”

“…Forty-one times.”

“…”

Vivian, who had been rubbing her eyes, looked up at me. Tears were welling up around her smudged eyes.

Unable to hide them, she parted her lips slightly.

She seemed to question how I knew exactly how many times she’d been hit.

Then, coming to her senses, she wiped away the remaining tears.

“Y-you try getting hit that many times. Then see if you can still say the same things as before.”

She walked over to her desk and opened a drawer.

From inside, she pulled out an extra switch identical to Madam Linne’s.

I said to her, “Even if you hit me, it won’t hurt.”

“…”

Momentarily frozen by my words, Vivian then called in one of the maids waiting outside.

“You called, miss?”

“Sena. Use this to hit Kylo Allen forty-one times with all your strength.”

“Pardon...?”

“It’s an order.”

The maid called Sena looked at me with a reluctant expression.

Meanwhile, my mind was wavering.

Part of me wondered if I shouldn’t have come, but I was also curious whether Vivian’s expression would soften if I let myself be hit.

Her smile while I was doing laundry lingered in my mind.

Would she feel a bit better if I went through what she experienced?

Would sharing the same pain make things better between us?

Whatever the case, I didn’t want to run away when faced with Vivian’s burning gaze.

So, seeing the conflicted maid, I nodded.

Only then did Vivian seem a bit flustered, as if she hadn’t expected me to accept so readily.

Sena took a deep breath and swung the switch at my forearm.

Smack!!

A sharp pain coursed through my arm.

But I kept my expression unchanged, looking only at Vivian.

Smack!

Vivian stared back at me, watching my reaction.

We didn’t avoid each other’s gaze, and Sena continued hitting me.

Smack!

We simply continued to look into each other’s eyes for a long time.

.

.

.

By the time it was over, a faint hint of guilt appeared on Vivian’s face.

I didn’t particularly like that. I didn’t want to see her looking weak.

Her life was already hard enough; what could she do if she was that weak?

“…It’s over,” Sena, sweating profusely, announced.

Vivian glanced at my forearm and frowned.

“…You…”

She seemed to have something to say.

I waited for a long time so she could speak first.

After a lengthy silence, she whispered,

“…Doesn’t it hurt?”

“…”

I didn’t know how to answer. I couldn’t tell whether she was simply curious or if her concern stemmed from guilt.

It probably wasn’t concern.

“…”

It did hurt. But should I say that? Would pretending to be strong be better for Vivian?

Or maybe she wanted empathy. Perhaps she wanted me to feel the pain just as she had.

I didn’t know. Unable to find an answer, I remained silent.

“…Fine, then,” Vivian said weakly.

I hesitated, then turned and left the room.

I could feel Vivian’s gaze following the back of my head.

****

As I walked through the castle, returning to the Penal Unit, I heard the whispers of maids echoing along the walls.

“Both of them are really pitiful. I disliked them at first, but after watching them…”

“They’re both still so young, but because of their families…”

“What can they do? If they don’t act as they are, things could get dangerous quickly…”

“Especially Kylo Allen… He should have been living a life of being revered…”

“Lady Vivian should just give up as well…”

As I continued walking and turned a corner, I saw the maids who had been cleaning the castle.

They were startled at the sight of me and scattered in all directions.

I let out a sigh.

It’s a small thing, but even those whispers are irritating.

“Pity this, danger that...”

...Vivian must be under the same kind of pressure.

“…”

Now that I think about it, I’ve been indifferent.

That night, without really knowing anything, I boasted and shook her.

I was in a hurry too, so that’s why, but the more I observe, the harder Vivian’s life seems.

It didn’t seem that just by provoking her competitiveness, just by me enduring more, she could overcome everything.

She needed real help.

Would taking the hits together with her, like today, help at all?

“…Ha.”

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

I don’t know why I’m worrying about this.

I should just not care whether Vivian gets hit, is ignored, or dies.

Why can’t I leave her alone?

It’s hard enough just taking care of myself.

As I stood there, agonizing, someone approached me.

“Kylo Allen!”

A sturdy man raised his hand to signal his presence.

A red band wrapped around his arm—the surveillance unit.

His name was probably... Coleman.

He was Burger’s lieutenant.

“Kylo Allen, Sir Burger is calling for you,” Coleman said.

“…Me?”

.

.

.

Burger was in his room, trimming his nails. He blew on them, shaking off the nail dust.

When I entered, he glanced at me and spoke.

“…Did you finish the laundry I assigned you?”

“…”

I hadn’t. It was still left by the riverside.

Burger sneered.

“You’re having a great time, aren’t you? Acting all high and mighty just because I loosened the reins a bit.”

If I didn’t finish my tasks, Burger wouldn’t even give me food.

Not wanting to go hungry, I said,

“I’ll go do it now. I almost finished, but I got interrupted.”

“Never mind, that’s not why I called you.”

“…?”

-Clack.

Burger set down the tool in his hand and looked directly at me.

Furrowing his brow, he said,

“Your head’s been in the clouds lately.”

Seeing my confusion, he elaborated.

“I hear you’ve been beating down your comrades with a sword. Every single day, at that.”

I had indeed been crushing every sparring partner lately. It felt like I had to, so they wouldn’t look down on me.

I retorted to Burger.

“You’re the one who makes us spar every day.”

“I ordered you to spar, not to commit assault.”

“Is it my fault they’re all so weak?”

“Stop tormenting those ’weaklings.’”

His words ignited my anger.

“Tormenting them? Did you not see the size of the guys who come at me? If anything, I’m the one who gets attacked. I never bullied anyone. And I fight alone.”

Burger sneered at my reply.

“You did bully them. The eldest son of a knight’s family beating up the baker’s kid, a fisherman’s son, a farmer’s child—with a sword.”

I was momentarily speechless.

“Most of the kids in the penal unit have never even heard of a sword before coming here. And you don’t think beating them with one is bullying?”

Swallowing my late embarrassment, I replied.

“They shouldn’t have picked a fight. Who was it that came at me with fists in the middle of the night?”

“It was fists last time, but what if it’s a dagger next time?”

“…”

Shaking his head, Burger stood up and took a step toward me.

“I thought that even if you’re from a rotting knight family, you’d have some level of chivalry.”

“Show me a fool who preaches chivalry in the heart of enemy territory.”

“Enemy territory, huh...”

-Thud.

Burger placed his hand on my shoulder.

A heavy force weighed down.

“Don’t you realize yet? This is your home now.”

“…”

“The ones around you are your comrades—not people you should be beating up.”

His words made me aware of my reality.

Feeling that there was some truth in his words, I blinked and looked down at the floor.

Then I shook off his arm.

His heavy hand was pushed away with difficulty.

“I’m just giving you advice. We’d have nothing to say to your father if you died too easily.”

“…Why would I die?”

I also sleep with my ears open at night, staying alert for any approaching threats.

I had no intention of dying easily.

Burger sneered at me once again.

“I’m not talking about your comrades. Though it’s possible, unless they want to spend their lives in the penal unit or get executed, they wouldn’t try to take your life.”

“…?”

“Seems you’ve forgotten, but we’re still a knight order. Soon, we’ll be dispatched to subjugate monsters around Roctana. Will you be safe during the subjugation? Can you return unharmed when you’ve been abandoned by your comrades?”

“…”

“Surely, at that time, you’ll desperately need comrades you can trust with your back.”

Burger then left me alone and approached Coleman, who was waiting outside the office.

“Coleman, we’re going to see Baelor. Prepare the documents. And...”

Meanwhile, I fell into thought. I hadn’t even considered being dispatched.

Come to think of it, didn’t Vivian say she wished I’d naturally die while subjugating monsters here?

“…”

After finishing his conversation with Coleman, Burger approached me again and said,

“You’ve beaten each other up enough. Now make peace. Who knows? They might become comrades who’ll protect you someday.”

“…”

“The kids in the penal unit are pitiable too. They’re victims of war. Many lost their fathers without knowing why and had to become the breadwinners. Balon, Willas, and Martin, who share a room with you, are typical examples.”

I answered in a low voice.

“…I’m also a victim of war.”

“I know,” Burger said.

“If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t be giving you advice like this today.”

I looked back at Burger.

After living together for several months, I felt his attitude toward me had changed considerably.

“Anyway, if dying is your dream, go die somewhere else. I don’t want to be responsible.”

“…”

Burger looked down at me with a momentary expression of pity... sneered, and then left.

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –

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