Chapter 63: The Saint Who Hates God (2)

 

After taking a brief nap in a chair, I was awakened by the distant sounds of music and cheers.

 

It seemed as though the feast had begun in the village.

 

For a moment, I got hungry at the familiar noise, and that was when I spotted Arwin clinging to the window.

 

“...”

 

Seeing her like this, I was reminded once more that she appeared rather cold when her face was expressionless.

 

It was strange; she didn’t look upset, yet she gave off an aura of anger.

 

Arwin was peering through the wooden window frame, turning her head to focus on where the noise was coming from.

 

It seemed like she anticipated that a feast was taking place, and now, she appeared too curious to wait any longer.

 

“...Ha.”

 

She exhaled softly and glanced at me from the corner of her eye.

 

Then, she froze.

 

Our eyes met.

 

After a moment of silence, Arwin asked,

 

“...You’re awake?”

 

I chuckled softly.

 

“I should have woken up earlier. If I’d known you were looking forward to it so much.”

 

“...”

 

Embarrassed, Arwin turned her head away, but her flushing ears betrayed her emotions.

 

“What about Ner?”

 

“She said she’s out for a walk...”

 

“Is that so? Then let’s set out with Ner.”

 

Arwin’s eyes widen slightly, as if the moment she had been waiting for had arrived.

 

I had expected her to enjoy it, but I hadn’t anticipated seeing such an expression on her face.

 

Even I couldn’t help but feel delighted.

 

“Yes,” Arwin replied to my comment.

 

There was a newfound strength in her voice.

 

****

 

“Saintess-nim, shall we go?”

 

The hero from the Dragon race, Felix, approached the Saintess and spoke.

 

The whole party waited for her response.

 

The Saintess nodded her head and said, “Yes.”

 

Thanks to the achievements of the hero party, the city was engulfed in a festive atmosphere.

 

Although resources were tight, making it different from the festivals before the war, the elements of laughter, song, and a large fire in the square remained the same.

 

The hero party looked at the celebrating people of various races and headed towards the ballroom, invited by the lord.

 

Upon entering the ballroom, they found it already occupied by numerous nobles.

 

All nearby nobles had come to witness the heroes who had protected the surrounding areas.

 

Upon their entrance, a round of applause greeted them.

 

Felix, the dragonian warrior, lightly raised his hand in response to the cheers.

 

The Saintess could hear voices cheering her name as well. She acknowledged them with a subtle nod, answering their enthusiasm.

 

.

.

.

 

Soon, the attention towards the main characters subsided, and the ball officially began.

 

Out of consideration for the Saintess, the party members sat in a more secluded area.

 

“Well done, everyone,” Felix said, joining them after a brief conversation with the lord.

 

“It looks like things have wrapped up here for now. Let’s rest today and tomorrow, then move on.”

 

The centaur, Acran, handed Felix a skewer of meat.

 

“Felix, fill your stomach.”

 

Felix accepted the food and took a seat.

 

“We finally defeated Tiramal as well. Now only the Demon King and his right-hand remain.”

 

Acran affirmed, “That’s how it is.”

 

The war was trending towards an end.

 

Following the suggestion of hero Felix, the party had been systematically eliminating the intelligent monsters who served as the Demon King’s minions.

 

Over the course of the seven-year war, excluding the two years of training, they had successfully eliminated four intelligent monsters in five years.

 

Now, only the Demon King and his right-hand remained.

 

It was too early to let down their guard, but it was clear they were making progress towards their goal.

 

“Once again, great job, and thank you everyone—Acran, Sylphrien, and Saintess-nim. Let’s eat well and rest easy tonight.”

 

Everyone nodded.

 

Soon, servants appeared and offered them small cups filled with high-quality alcohol.

 

“Thank you,” The hero Felix expressed his gratitude and placed the four cups on the table.

 

Following his lead, everyone picked up a cup.

 

“Alright, cheers,” Acran said.

 

“We’ve worked hard this time too,” Sylphrien nodded.

 

“Let’s hang in there a little longer,” the Saintess also nodded.

 

“Thank you for your hard work.”

 

Soon, a toast was made, deliberately excluding the Saintess, careful not to touch even a finger to her cup.

 

The Saintess silently stared at her cup, then moistened her lips with the liquid.

 

****

 

Ner and Arwin watched as a peculiar group entered the village.

 

Ner held onto my right arm lightly, keeping a vigilant eye on them.

 

Her ears twitched each time an unusual sound was made.

 

Arwin couldn’t take her eyes off the group either.

 

She glanced back and forth between me and the group.

 

Various races wearing colorful clothes, carts loaded with unknown goods, and members cheering.

 

“...What is that, Berg?”

 

Finally, Ner looked up at me and asked.

 

“That’s a circus,” I responded to her.

 

And at that, Arwin took a soft breath.

 

“...A circus?”

 

“They are people who perform fascinating tricks. It will be fun to—”

 

“—Ah, I know what a circus is. I’ve only read about it, but...”

 

Arwin couldn’t tear her eyes away from the circus.

 

She was fascinated by every single aspect of it.

 

I said to her, “It’ll probably take some time for them to start, don’t you think?”

 

“...I suppose.”

 

I too found myself captivated by the circus entering the village.

 

I began to wonder if this had any connection to Hyung’s troubled mind.

 

However, in the end, I shrugged it off and looked for a place to sit.

 

“Follow me.”

 

At my words, both began to move.

 

Ner was still lightly clinging to my arm, while Arwin’s gaze was increasingly captivated by the spectacle of the ongoing feast.

 

The members of my Head Hunter Unit*, led by Baran, were also in sight.

 

Baran waved his hand and shouted, “Vice-captain! Shall we bring some alcohol?”

 

“Sure!”

 

“How many cups do you need?”

 

I looked at Ner and asked, “Do you want some?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Would you like to have a drink together?”

 

“...”

 

Ner fell silent.

 

“If you’re not in the mood—”

 

“—I’ll, I’ll try it. If we’re drinking together.”

 

I smiled at her, and then turned to Arwin.

 

“Arwin, would you like a glass too?”

 

Arwin, who had been fidgeting, snapped to attention at my words.

 

“Me?... No, I don’t drink alcohol.”

 

I nodded and looked back at Baran.

 

“Two cups!”

 

“We have a new type of alcohol; would you like to try that?”

 

“A new type?”

 

“It’s Bardi liquor!”

 

****

 

A clown took center stage in the ballroom, gifting laughter to the many attendees.

 

In these desperate times of hope, laughter was a precious commodity.

 

The Saintess quietly observed the laughing faces from the back.

 

She felt envious that they could be so joyful.

 

The Saintess couldn’t even remember the last time she had genuinely laughed like that.

 

Not a fake smile or a forced laugh, but a genuine one.

 

...Actually, upon reflection, she could calculate it.

 

Surely, the last time must have been seven years ago.

 

After hurting the one she loved with harsh words and pushing him away by saying she’d never return, she lost her smile from the moment they parted ways.

 

The Saintess quietly reflected on her past amidst the increasingly cheerful atmosphere of the banquet hall.

 

At the age of 15 years, the Saintess had thought she was doing the right thing.

 

At the time, she believed that she had to push him away, even if it meant hurting him.

 

Her partner had loved her so deeply, and she knew it too.

 

He would have followed her, even if it cost him his life.

 

Even if his blood spilled, his arm severed, and his life ebbed away, he would have stayed by her side.

 

He was a man who had already been bloodied countless times for her.

 

She knew him well; he was that kind of person.

 

That was why she pushed him away, telling him she would never return and no longer wished to be with him.

 

The blessed Saintess couldn’t bring him on a perilous adventure, uncertain if even she herself would survive.

 

If she left any room for hope, he would have found some excuse to hold onto her.

 

So, she wounded him with tears in her eyes.

 

She told him their friendship could go no further.

 

She shattered every promise they’d ever made.

 

Dressed in clean clothes, eating fine food, she told him there was no reason to return to her, hurting the already impoverished man.

 

She made it impossible for him to follow or wait for her.

 

If he were to wait...and she happened to die, he would also die following her.

 

Believing it was the right choice, she inflicted all those wounds on him in a single morning.

 

She shouldered all the burdens, prepared to seek forgiveness if she ever succeeded in killing the Demon King, and returned.

 

She had no choice but to leave.

 

Her doctor parents were one reason, and the lives of millions were another, but... the greatest reason was the warning from Hea that he could die if she didn’t go on the expedition.

 

“Wahahahahaha!”

 

Another burst of laughter filled the ballroom.

 

Yet, the Saintess pondered.

 

She thought she had been foolish.

 

Regretting the choices she made when she was younger.

 

Wondering if it would have been okay to act a little more selfishly.

 

In this one and only life, wouldn’t it have been alright to be a bit more greedy?

 

Wouldn’t it have been right to ask him to wait for her?

 

He might have been waiting for her to say that very thing.

 

The first tears he ever showed in front of her became a nightmare that haunted her.

 

****

 

“...Huh?”

 

“Going to the circus...”

 

I stopped myself from speaking to Ner.

 

She was already drunk, her reactions sluggished.

 

“...What did you say?”

 

Considering the commotion caused by the circus, Ner probably wouldn’t hear anything else I had to say.

 

“Hehehe...Berg...”

 

Still, she seemed happily drunk, which was a relief.

 

I hadn’t expected her to get intoxicated so easily, but at least she wasn’t crying or getting angry about it.

 

Instead, she looked at me with a beaming smile.

 

She even leaned her swaying body against my shoulder.

 

Soon after, I turned my gaze toward where the circus was happening.

 

Many performers had gathered, and people were watching them.

 

The circus itself was not visible to me.

 

My view was blocked by the backs of the members.

 

All I could see were circus performers who suddenly popped up into the air and then disappeared just as quickly.

 

I looked for Arwin, who had eagerly moved to watch the circus earlier.

 

“...”

 

It wasn’t hard to find her beautiful appearance, illuminated by a large bonfire.

 

Arwin, who had been so excited about the circus, couldn’t even get close due to the crowd and was watching a show that she could hardly see from a distance.

 

Seeing her reminded me of Ner, and a bitter laugh escaped my lips.

 

Why were they both like this?

 

Soon, I put down my glass and stood up.

 

I took the glass from Ner’s hand and put it down as well.

 

“Huh? Berg, the drink...”

 

“That’s enough. You’re plenty drunk. Let’s go watch the circus.”

 

Then, I grabbed her wrist and led her away.

 

Ner obediently stood up and followed me.

 

I approached Arwin and called out to her.

 

“Arwin!”

 

Her head turned, and she saw me.

 

“...”

 

Her face showed a hint of disappointment, as if she hadn’t been able to fully enjoy the show.

 

“Come here.”

 

At my gesture, Arwin approached.

 

She spoke.

 

“...This is fun. It’s my first time seeing something like this, so it’s fascinating.”

 

Was she just being polite, or did she genuinely find it fascinating?

 

The more I got to know her, the more I was surprised by how her polite demeanor contrasted with her appearance.

 

Or could it be that her personality was strongly linked to the World Tree?

 

It seemed like she had changed since the incident with the World Tree.

 

Putting aside those thoughts, I said to her,

 

“What’s so fun about it if you can’t even see?”

 

“Huh? Oh...well...”

 

For a moment, I looked at the members, utterly engrossed in the circus.

 

“Hahahahaha!”

 

Another wave of laughter filled the square.

 

I could push through the crowd to get a better view, but the members of the Red Flames were also in the midst of their grieving process.

 

I didn’t want to disturb them just to get to the front.

 

“Here.”

 

I positioned Arwin and Ner next to each other.

 

Both seemed clueless about what was happening.

 

Then, I squatted down and placed their butts on my shoulders.

 

And in that position, I stood up, lifting them onto my shoulders.

 

“Ah...!”

 

“Oh!”

 

I lightly gripped their thighs to stabilize them.

 

In an instant, the two of them grabbed at my face and hair in surprise.

 

But that was just for a moment.

 

“Ah...!”

 

A cry I never thought I’d hear flowed from Arwin’s lips.

 

Looking up at her, I saw her eyes reflecting the bonfire, aimed straight at the circus performers.

 

Her hand covered her mouth as she became utterly engrossed in the spectacle.

 

Just seeing her like that made me smile.

 

She didn’t seem to have the time to dislike being perched on my shoulders.

 

Though her sparkling eyes occasionally glanced down at me, she soon returned to happily watching the circus.

 

Next, I turned my attention to Ner.

 

“...? Aren’t you watching the circus?”

 

She was staring at me with a vacant expression.

 

“...I’ll watch.”

 

Saying so, she slowly turned her head.

 

In that moment, Ner’s balance wavered a bit, as if she were still slightly tipsy.

 

“Whoa.”

 

I quickly regained our balance, much like the circus performers.

 

-Snap!

 

Simultaneously, something wrapped around my body.

 

“...?”

 

Upon checking, it turned out to be Ner’s tail.

 

Her tail coiled around my torso, helping to maintain balance.

 

“...Berg.”

 

“Hm?”

 

She gave me a sidelong glance, checking me out again.

 

“...Hehe. Never mind.”

 

She smiled.

 

I looked at her, bursting out laughing.

 

“...We should drink together more often.”

 

Ner chuckled softly, grinning widely.

 

“Wow...!”

 

Something must have happened; Arwin suddenly pressed down on my face in astonishment.

 

Her ears wiggled up and down.

 

At the sight of them, I eventually burst into laughter too.

 

It felt like I was also able to set aside the burden of losing my comrades.

 

****

 

The Saintess left the ballroom and headed for her lodging.

 

Staying any longer didn’t seem like it would bring any smiles.

 

Her mind was already too cluttered with thoughts about him.

 

The happy memories that started to surface only pained her further.

 

Upon entering her assigned lodging, she immediately took off her clothes.

 

Quietly climbing onto the bed, she prepared to find some solace.

 

Tears flowed freely from her eyes.

 

They were the same familiar tears she had always shed.

 

But it was okay.

 

The war was nearing its end.

 

Just a little more endurance, and she could return to him.

 

She would kneel before him and ask for forgiveness.

 

When the threat of the Demon King would vanish and the world found peace... when it would be safe to be with him, then she would live her life by his side.

 

From then on, she would also set aside her duties as the Saintess and simply stay by his side.

 

She had already decided on this.

 

There was no other future for her.

 

Hadn’t she endured all this time with just that thought?

 

She had heard that he had become a farmer in a remote village.

 

Living each day safely and earnestly, alone.

 

She always imagined appearing before him like that once the war was over.

 

What would he say to her?

 

What should she say to him?

 

Would he forgive her?

 

Even if he didn’t, it didn’t matter.

 

She would beg until he did.

 

She could let go of all the dignity she had built up as the Saintess.

 

In this way, they would return to the past.

 

Nothing would stand in the way of their happiness.

 

They would hold each other tightly, just like before.

 

Whispering love as soon as night fell.

 

Traveling the world and marveling at beautiful things.

 

Forming a covenant of love, becoming a married couple just as they had promised.

 

Each would only have eyes for the other.

 

“...I miss you, Bell.”

 

Sien whispered.

 

She thought of her other half, who had protected her countless times when she was younger.

 

Only by imagining such a sweet dream could she fall asleep.

 

– – – The End of The Chapter – – –