Chapter 95: Awakening (5)

 

We all exchanged glances at Keirsey’s completely changed appearance. Everyone was trying hard to make sense of the situation.

 

She—who used to cry over trivial matters, smile brightly at light jokes, and laugh giddily even at a brief peck—was now the polar opposite of her usual self.

 

“.....Hmm.”

 

But I nodded my head with a bitter taste in my mouth.

 

Yes, it might be because she now hates me for ignoring her heartfelt plea to write a letter.

 

Maybe that’s for the best.

 

If this becomes the reason she pushes me away, dislikes me... then perhaps it’s a relief.

 

If she becomes disappointed in me and distances herself, maybe it’s a good thing.

 

It’s not that my heart doesn’t ache.

 

Pushing them away doesn’t mean I hate them.

 

I still like them.

 

But that’s only as siblings.

 

Once I understood that our feelings were misaligned, it became one of the bitter pills I had to swallow... but my heart ached nonetheless.

 

Why did they love me?

 

Once again, all I could do was irresponsibly blame others. If only they had stayed as my siblings.

 

****

 

Was it due to my stoic response, or was it Keirsey’s abrupt behavior?

 

Unlike what I worried, the deep emotions I and the twins had been facing in the academy didn’t sweep across the dinner table.

 

Before I left the academy, there had been daily tears and anguished cries, but not now.

 

Only an air of frozen tension and cautious glances were exchanged.

 

Keirsey remained unresponsive. With an expressionless face, she simply stared down at her plate.

 

She wasn’t absent-minded. Her eyes blinked, her mind fully alert, but her lips remained tightly sealed.

 

“...Let’s eat.”

 

At Grandma’s words, we each slowly picked up our spoons.

 

Judging by Keirsey’s demeanor, she seemed uninterested in the meal. Eventually, she hesitantly picked up her knife, thought intently for a moment, and delicately cut a small piece of food from her plate before placing it in her mouth.

 

She must have been contemplating whether to refuse the meal or not.

 

I understood Keirsey’s changed behavior, but it was awkward nonetheless.

 

It seemed like another manifestation of the growing distance between us.

 

Had things been as usual, I would have tried to console a disappointed Keirsey, but untreated wounds have left scars between us.

 

...No. On second thought, even if she had acted that way in front of me, I might not have consoled her. Especially considering this recent incident.

 

Our meal proceeded in silence.

 

Grandma didn’t try to lighten the mood by introducing trivial topics for conversation. That wasn’t her style.

 

In keeping with her character, it was only when the meal was about halfway done that she spoke...

 

“...So, have you changed your mind?”

 

...in this direct manner.

 

Keirsey showed no response and continued with the meal laid out before her.

 

No, she did respond.

 

She raised her hand and snapped her fingers.

 

-Snap.

 

A servant standing behind her caught Grandma Liana’s eye and approached her.

 

When the servant drew near, Keirsey uttered a single word.

 

“Wine.”

 

“...Keirsey, you don’t—”

 

I cut myself off before finishing my sentence, “You don’t drink.”

 

She didn’t react to my words, and as soon as her glass was filled with red wine, she gulped it down in one go.

 

A drop of wine that didn’t make it into her mouth trickled down the side of her lips.

 

Grandma remained unflustered by Keirsey’s behavior. As if she had expected it, she ignored Keirsey and turned her gaze towards Asena.

 

“...Have you changed your mind?”

 

“......”

 

Asena glanced at me once. Then, with a cold shift of her eyes, she looked down at her food and gave a brief shake of her head.

 

I let out a long sigh within.

 

‘So, nothing has changed.’

 

“...Asena, I—”

 

“If it’s not you, Oppa, I won’t get married.”

 

Asena abruptly broke the icy atmosphere with her words.

 

The mention of marriage made my heart sink.

 

This was no childish tantrum.

 

It was a declaration from an adult who knew all too well what she was talking about.

 

Her gaze met mine.

 

“...Also, don’t get any weird ideas, Oppa. My love for you hasn’t blocked any marital paths or erased any alliance opportunities. If you weren’t in the picture, I wouldn’t have even considered marriage in the first place.”

 

“......”

 

I couldn’t argue against her, because I was fully aware of the future, having read the novel. Both she and Keirsey had been emotionless villains, loved by no one.

 

Seeing that I had nothing to say, Asena put down her knife and fork.

 

“...Speak honestly, Oppa.”

 

“...About what?”

 

“You know we’re not in a typical sibling relationship.”

 

“...True, I can’t help that. I was adopted—”

 

“—That’s not what I mean.”

 

“........”

 

“...You’re still not entirely comfortable around me, are you?”

 

At her words, I too put down my utensils. Grandma remained silent.

 

“...What do you mean, Asena?”

 

“You can’t even look at my bare skin directly, Oppa. You’re still cautious when my chest brushes against your arm. Sometimes, you treat me as if I’m not your sister, but a woman.”

 

My eyes trembled slightly.

 

“...It’s not that I see you as a woman; it’s that we were never in that kind of relationship to begin with—”

 

“—From the start, I was in that kind of relationship. It took me less than a year to fall in love with you. I’ve thought of you as a man for a longer time than I’ve thought of you as family.”

 

“........”

 

“...So that’s why... That’s why it’s even harder for me to accept it now. I can’t stand seeing you push away my feelings. Seeing you go to another woman. I can’t even understand it.”

 

“...Does that even make sense? That it was natural for you to think of me, who was once your brother, as a man?”

 

“......”

 

I let out a long sigh, then lifted my glass, already filled with wine, just as Keirsey had done, and took a sip.

 

Gathering my emotions, I spoke quietly.

 

“...In any case. We’ve already had this discussion, haven’t we? The only thing I wanted to hear was that you’ve given up on me. That we should go back to being just normal siblings. There’s no room for compromise. That’s how it is. I can’t reciprocate your feelings.”

 

At that moment, a voice that had remained silent until now joined the conversation.

 

“Never?”

 

“........”

 

It was Keirsey. The voice was familiar, but the tone was strikingly different—unwavering, captivating. The young girl I knew seemed a lifetime away.

 

Keirsey was idly swirling her wine glass, watching the ‘tears’ of wine cling to the inside of the glass with her pale eyes.

 

There was no sign that she felt slighted. She simply seemed uninterested in it all. Even if I thought it was an act, I couldn’t be sure.

 

...For some reason, her demeanor was dominating the atmosphere.

 

Caught off guard by this change in Keirsey, I was at a loss for words. She closed her eyes briefly, then looked at me as she reopened them.

 

For the first time since they returned, our eyes met.

 

“Even if something happens?”

 

She asked again.

 

Did she change so much just because I hadn’t written her a letter?

 

Even if I didn’t want to be taken aback, I couldn’t help it. Deep down, I was surprised by her transformation, but I tried my best not to show it.

 

With a stern expression, I asserted, “No matter what happens.”

 

“What if I were to take my own life?”

 

- Clink.

 

Grandma dropped her fork.

 

My eyebrows involuntarily twitched. My jaw tightened, my whole body went rigid, and my mind went blank.

 

Merely imagining Keirsey’s death crumbled me, much like Grandma.

 

I shook my head vigorously.

 

...It must be a bluff. It can only be a bluff.

 

But I had already missed the timing to respond, being shaken by her threat.

 

“...”

 

Watching my reaction, Keirsey gave a slight nod.

 

Then, she chugged her refilled wine glass, emptying it in one go, and rose from her seat.

 

“It seems ‘never’ isn’t quite right.”

 

With that, she turned away.

 

I couldn’t move until she was out of sight.

 

****

 

As Keirsey left, the meal came to a swift conclusion.

 

Grandma, Asena, and I each retreated to our own rooms.

 

Before leaving the dining area, Asena grabbed my wrist as if she had something to say. But I immediately lowered my head and shook off her grip.

 

And so, I returned to my room.

 

Afterward, I lay on my bed, feeling completely drained. I couldn’t muster any strength.

 

‘What if I were to take my own life?’

 

Keirsey’s voice haunted my thoughts.

 

I couldn’t help but imagine the scenario. If she held a knife to her own throat in front of me and declared she’d end her life if I didn’t love her, what would I do?

 

...I probably wouldn’t be able to stand watching Keirsey die.

 

That was something I absolutely couldn’t allow to happen. Of that, I was certain.

 

Although I couldn’t imagine the tender-hearted Keirsey ever acting that way, her behavior earlier and her portrayal in the original work kept nagging at me.

 

Time continued to pass.

 

The night deepened until complete darkness took over, even the moon concealed itself.

 

As my thoughts elongated, my body reached the point where it could no longer resist the pull of sleep.

 

Knock....Knock....

 

The sound of knocking pulled my consciousness out of the realm of dreams.

 

Knock...Knock..Knock.

 

I blinked my stiff eyes awake, trying to come to my senses.

 

Who could it be at this late hour...

 

I pondered briefly, but an answer quickly emerged. It can only be the twins.

 

I hesitated.

 

Should I open the door?

 

Or should I send them away?

 

I rose from my bed.

 

Slowly, I walked toward the door, straining my ears to identify the person behind it.

 

-‘...Hic.’

 

A brief hiccup resonated.

 

It was Keirsey. I was sure of it.

 

Keirsey, who had been standoffish, who had shown anger toward me. I had thought she would avoid me and express her displeasure for at least a few days, yet here she was, seeking me out.

 

....Knock...Knock...Knock.

 

-‘Open the door...hic...Oppa...’

 

It was a sound so faint that I wouldn’t have heard it if I weren’t so focused.

 

I eventually turned around, scratching my head in exasperation.

 

Ignoring her was the right decision.

 

Thud. Crash.

 

At that moment, I felt a jolt and a loud noise resonated through the floor.

 

Recalling Keirsey’s words about committing suicide, I flung the door open.

 

“Keirsey...!”

 

She was sitting on the floor, legs crossed and hunched over.

 

The first thing that hit me as I opened the door was the pungent smell of alcohol.

 

A shattered wine glass lay scattered beside her.

 

And the smell didn’t just come from the spilled wine.

 

A fruity aroma wafted from Keirsey herself.

 

She was someone who never drank, no matter how much I jokingly offered her alcohol, claiming it was tasteless.

 

She would merely sit beside me, pouring to make sure my glass never emptied.

 

To see her like this, utterly drunk—that alone sent a heavy message my way.

 

“...hic...Ah...my drink...”

 

She tried to stand up, using the floor for support.

 

But in doing so, she lost her balance, about to topple forward.

 

I caught her in my arms.

 

If I had let her fall, she might have been injured by the shards of the broken wine glass.

 

She paused at my touch and briefly looked up at me.

 

“......”

 

She stared at me in silence before pushing my hand away.

 

“.....I hate you. Hic... Go away.”

 

Was it because she was drunk? I couldn’t just let her be. She was so intoxicated that she would likely have no memory of this by tomorrow.

 

“...You come here and then tell me to go? Where am I supposed to go?”

 

“.....I hate you. I hate you more than anyone in the world.”

 

Drunk as she was, she seemed more like the Keirsey I knew.

 

After pushing away my hand, she leaned against the wall, trying to stand. Her foot carelessly moved toward the shattered glass.

 

In the end, I lifted her up, holding her in a princess-carry.

 

If I had delayed even a moment, she could have seriously injured her foot.

 

Keirsey looked up at my face once again, but this time she buried her head in my embrace.

 

I spoke to her then.

 

“.....Go to sleep.”

 

She shook her head.

 

At first, I thought she was resisting my suggestion.

 

But then she spoke.

 

“.....Look. You love me, don’t you?”

 

Then, with a motion that was the complete opposite of her earlier sluggish and clumsy movements, she swiftly and sharply grabbed the back of my neck.

 

Lifting her upper body out of my embrace, she pulled me toward her.

 

She tilted her head and pressed her lips against mine.

 

‘WHA-!!’

 

I tried to pull my head back, but her arm, gripping the back of my neck, followed me. Her tongue slipped into my mouth.

 

It was too quick for me to bite down and keep her out.

 

If I tightened my jaw at this moment, I would risk injuring her tongue.

 

Before I could react appropriately, her tongue dominated mine.

 

I tasted the harsh flavor of alcohol.

 

Finally releasing the tension in my arm to let her go, she fell away from me and slumped onto the floor.

 

“Haa-haa...!”

 

Wiping my mouth, I called out to her.

 

“....Keirsey...!”

 

This was the second time. Whether it was because of the scent of alcohol or not, I felt a flush rise to my face.

 

However, Keirsey looked completely unfazed. Perhaps because she had immediately forgotten what just happened, she bowed her head slightly and spoke to me.

 

“.....I want to sleep, Oppa.”

 

Getting angry at someone drunk seemed pointless. Finding the situation absurd, I opened and closed my mouth repeatedly before finally relaxing.

 

“....Sigh...Fine. Go to sleep. Just go to sleep quietly.”

 

I lifted the blanket for her.

 

Knowing she was so drunk that she was likely to flop down onto the bed immediately.

 

I had planned to just cover her with the blanket and leave.

 

Just then, something light hit the floor.

 

I looked back at Keirsey.

 

She was taking off the light clothing she had been wearing.

 

“Keirsey...!”

 

It was too late to grab the clothes that had already slipped onto the floor and dress her again.

 

To do so, I’d have to kneel before Keirsey, who was only in her underwear.

 

Keirsey spoke.

 

“....They’re wet.. hic...”

 

Looking down at her clothes, I saw dark stains just as she described. It was hard to see in the dim light of the ambitious night, but it seemed they were soaked with wine.

 

In the end, I held back. I was going to leave the room anyway.

 

Covering her with the blanket now seemed a bit complicated.

 

Leaving the rest to Keirsey, I turned to go.

 

My heart was oddly racing; it felt like I shouldn’t stay here any longer. I reached for the doorknob.

 

Just as I was about to leave the room, a quick hand darted out from behind me, pressing the door in front of me shut.

 

- Bang!

 

The door closed like that.

 

All I could see was the door right in front of me and Keirsey’s pale, slender arms stretched out from either side of my waist, holding the door shut.

 

“Keirsey, why do you keep doing this-”

 

As I tried to turn to look at her,

 

“-I’m not wearing anything, Oppa.”

 

Keirsey’s voice came - clear and without any stuttering this time - unlike before.

 

“....I’m not wearing anything.”

 

“.......”

 

My heart raced. My eyes lost their way and wandered aimlessly. I was frozen, unable to move. True to Asena’s words, I still couldn’t bring myself to look at their bare bodies.

 

As I remained still, Keirsey’s arms tightened.

 

Her arms wrapped around my waist.

 

Then, from behind, I felt the soft touch of something.

 

I couldn’t feel the slightly stiff undergarment that usually supported her chest.

 

It seemed her claim of being naked wasn’t just a bluff.

 

I tried to gather my senses to pull away from her grasp.

 

“.........Be with me, Oppa.”

 

She whispered at that very moment.

 

Her embrace intensified. And then she shuddered with a hiccup.

 

“.....Hic. Now... I know everything.”

---  End Of The Chapter ---

 

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