Chapter 91: Awakening (1)

 

At the end of an arduous journey, the Pryster territory finally came into view.

 

Indeed, there’s no place like home. The stifling feelings I had throughout the trip seemed to lessen immediately just at the sight of home.

 

“Phew.”

 

‘Alright. There’s no need to be hasty.’

 

I have roughly a month before reuniting with the twins - Of course, the thought is still daunting - and the future remains uncertain. However, I can’t help but wonder how much will change as time passes.

 

Although I don’t plan on reciprocating their feelings, given the twins’ persistent affection, I doubt their emotions toward me will fluctuate either.

 

Asena had said she liked me since we were young. The depth of those feelings is something I find hard to measure.

 

In the past, when they showed me so much affection... I felt as though I had received great fortune. But in truth, behind that affection were feelings that crossed the boundary of family—It was a hard truth to swallow.

 

As these thoughts flooded my mind, confusion began to muddle my clarity.

 

Could it be that their gestures of love were driven by some underlying desire?

 

The longing encapsulated in those stolen pecks, the nights Keirsey would discreetly slip into my bed, the embraces from Asena that involved more than just a casual hug—were all these actions guided by their perception of me as a man rather than just a family member?

 

Given the circumstances, it seemed reasonable to think so.

 

Sigh.

 

I was naive, under the impression that they sought in me the familial love they never received from their parents. But, in truth–

 

“...”

 

A memory of Asena’s words suddenly crossed my mind.

 

That day she confessed she had never thought of me as her brother.

 

That, should my name be stripped of the “Pryster” title, I would be nothing more than a stranger to her.

 

While her words might not have been entirely false, I had always viewed them as my sisters.

 

However, given the particular nature of our relationship, things would undoubtedly differ if we were biologically related siblings.

 

I can’t deny that the twins hold a unique place in my life, a certain exceptional quality that sets them apart.

 

If they were my biological sisters, I probably wouldn’t be considerate when changing clothes in front of them. It wouldn’t be awkward if we saw each other’s vulnerabilities. We wouldn’t be giving each other kisses every night, smiles wouldn’t automatically appear just from seeing each other’s faces, and being together wouldn’t be the most comfortable thing in the world.

 

The difference in our social standings also kept reminding us that we were not normal siblings… In fact, I could eventually come to terms with Asena’s shocking revelation—that she had never thought of me as her brother.

 

However, coming to terms with it doesn’t mean the feeling isn’t perpetually disheartening, stifling, and… frustrating.

 

“....Cayden.”

 

Grandma’s hand gently touched my arm.

 

“....Yes?”

 

“Stop worrying,” she said, perhaps sensing my unease.

 

My face must have betrayed my inner turmoil about the twins.

 

“....Thank you.”

 

Feeling comforted by her consideration, I thanked her.

 

“...I know you’re going through a lot. But, since I’ve made the decision to bring you here, let’s take our time with these worries. Eat plenty of delicious food until you’re full, and get some proper rest. Once your mind is clear, it won’t be too late to make your choices.”

 

I met her eyes and allowed myself a slight smile.

 

Her words may have been casual, but their impact was profound, enveloping me in a comfort that was hard to describe.

 

I truly couldn’t articulate just how fortunate I felt to have her in my life.

 

In a society marked by rigid social stratification, she had accepted me wholeheartedly, as if I were her flesh-and-blood grandchild.

 

Despite her reputation, which might suggest otherwise, she had been endlessly kind to me—and not just to me, but to our entire family.

 

Honestly, I couldn’t even quantify the depth of my gratitude for her—a grandmother who showed no favoritism between her biological grandchildren and me, often even prioritizing my needs.

 

Her actions greatly influenced the behavior of the servants as well, and because she had taken such good care of me, they also treated me with utmost courtesy.

 

Frankly, I wouldn’t have had any room to argue if she had resented me.

 

Had she ousted me from the family, labeling me the “corruptor” who ensnared the twins, I couldn’t have offered any defense. After all, even though it was her choice to integrate me into the family, the unfolding situation was likely far from what she had originally hoped for.

 

Yet, she showed concern for me. She even brought me out of the academy, concerned that I might be struggling, and offered me words of comfort when she saw my troubled expression.

 

All of this deeply moved me.

 

In reality, the most agonizing aspect of the entire predicament with the twins had been this: the sense of guilt I felt whenever I faced Grandma.

 

Setting aside my own feelings, just the idea of her worrying about me exerted an immense weight on my conscience.

 

It felt as if my actions had compromised the strength the family could have gained through the twins’ marriage… That too in return for her love.

 

Ultimately, I spread my arms and enveloped her in a warm hug.

 

Grandma offered a serene smile.

 

“...Haha, Cayden. It’s been a while since you’ve hugged this old woman.”

 

“...Thank you.”

 

An emotional surge welled within me, but I held back my tears. Especially in Grandma’s presence, tears were not an option.

 

Even if I was adopted, I was the eldest son of the family and had an obligation to maintain an aura of strength and resilience.

 

“What could my eldest grandson possibly have to be so thankful for?”

 

“...Everything.”

 

I’ve often noticed this, but Grandmother bears a striking resemblance to Asena. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say that Asena takes after her?

 

As we embraced, I felt her hand gently patting my back, silently inquiring—prodding me to elaborate on the reasons for my gratitude, as if coaxing me to express the depth of my affection for her.

 

Witnessing her this way lightened my heart and made me smile. The emotional turbulence within me also settled somewhat.

 

Finally, I said, “You’ve accepted me completely, as if I were truly your own grandson.”

 

“...Cayden, don’t say such things; You are my grandson—Never question that.”

 

“...But we both know that’s not technically the case... I may not know my biological parents, but because of you, Grandma, I’ve never felt that absence. You’ve offered me unconditional love and care. Even when you could have shown favoritism towards the twins, who are your blood relatives, you refrained.”

 

“......Hehe.”

 

She giggled at that instant. It seemed that hearing how much I loved her directly from my lips delighted her.

 

She eased her embrace, pulling back slightly to look into my face.

 

“Cayden, did you think this old woman would ever utter empty promises?”

 

“...what?”

 

“From the moment I declared you as my grandson, that’s exactly what you became. Had I ever intended to favor the twins over you, I would never have committed to bringing you into this family as my own.”

 

“........”

 

“I make it a point to keep the promises I give.”

 

In that instant, various promises I’d made resurfaced in my mind.

 

My promise to Daisy that I’d return to her.

 

My assurance to Judy that we’d reunite.

 

...And my commitment to the twins:

 

My vow to be their unwavering pillar of support for a lifetime.

 

I was set on keeping the first two promises.

 

But given all that has transpired, can I still honor the last one?

 

Can I emulate my Grandma’s steadfast fidelity to her word?

 

She has always honored her commitment—Even now, when I, a commoner, have captured the hearts of the noble Pryster siblings, she still regards me as her grandchild. So much has shifted, yet her resolve remains steadfast.

 

Can I say the same for myself?

 

I’m not sure...

 

...Because my resolve to leave hasn’t wavered.

 

“...Cayden.”

 

I had unknowingly become lost in thought. Grandma’s call snapped me back to reality.

 

She smiled once more and spoke.

 

“Set aside your concerns for the moment. Let’s rest; we’re home now.”

 

—Boooo...

 

The resonant horn sounded in the distance, signaling our family’s arrival call.

 

I was truly back home.

 

Thinking so, a realization hit me all of a sudden—That this was the first time I’d been separated from the twins since our paths first crossed.

 

****

 

Ten days passed, and only twenty more remained.

 

After Cayden left, Asena allowed herself a single day of mourning. But from the next day onward, she carried on as though nothing had transpired.

 

This was easier said than done, yet the emotional armor she had donned over the years fortified her resilience.

 

Keirsey, meanwhile, still roamed about in a gloomy state.

 

Her friends, although clueless about the cause of her sadness, made genuine attempts to comfort her. Keirsey would also offer them a faint smile and murmur her thanks, but Asena knew better. These gestures did little to lift her spirits.

 

What both sisters needed to feel whole was Cayden—more specifically, a Cayden who would reciprocate their feelings.

 

Absent that, no meaningful change was possible.

 

On the sixth day since Cayden’s departure, a letter arrived. Until that moment, Asena had been in an emotional limbo, feeling virtually nothing. Yet, the sight of that letter made her heart throb painfully, as if compensating for all the moments it had failed to beat before.

 

Keirsey was no different. With trembling hands, she brought the letter to Asena.

 

Emblazoned in the center was the unmistakable seal of the Pryster family.

 

It could either be from their grandmother or... from their brother.

 

Asena, consumed with hope that it was the latter, eagerly tore open the letter.

 

“....Ah.”

 

The moment she saw the handwriting, a single tear trickled down Asena’s cheek.

 

It was unmistakably Cayden’s handwriting.

 

Though the letter itself was succinct.

 

~~~

 

I’ve arrived safely.

 

We need time.

 

I hope you’ll reconsider.

 

I want us to be close as siblings.

 

Let’s meet again at home.

 

~~~

 

As she read these lines, the tone and emotion she imagined in his voice made it seem as though he was speaking directly to her.

 

It was as if she could hear the resonance of his voice in her mind.

 

Although she knew she could never fulfill some of the requests he had made... still, the heavy emotions that had been weighing her down seemed to lighten a bit.

 

His sincere tone must have made a difference.

 

Even though, in the garden, Cayden had claimed otherwise, Asena had stubbornly clung to the belief that he still loved her. However that could also be seen as stubbornness, so deep down, she was quite anxious.

 

The pain was particularly acute when he surfaced in her nightmares, repeatedly saying that he didn’t love her.

 

Yet, the letter, thoughtfully composed and dispatched, bore no trace of such hostility. That was her greatest relief.

 

Starting the next day, both Asena and Keirsey began sending letters back to him.

 

Asena diligently wrote about her daily activities, sending two letters every day.

 

Keirsey seemed to be sending even more... but she didn’t bother to check.

 

She refrained from saying things like “I love you” or “I miss you” in her letters, fearing that it would burden him. She simply shared her day with him.

 

Although she was dying to write those words, for the sake of not pressuring him, she restrained herself, teeth clenched.

 

This was the first time Asena had ever sent so many letters to someone.

 

She felt the void left by Cayden all too sharply:

 

Being separated from him for the first time since they met made her realize just how essential he was to her.

 

Did he realize how much this separation hurt her?

 

He had said they would meet again at home, so she was no longer worried about him leaving. At the very least, she would be able to see his face once more; There was still a chance.

 

But the more she thought about it, the more steadfast Asena’s resolve became.

 

She couldn’t simply let him walk away.

 

Merely a few days apart already felt intolerable. Nothing could lift her spirits. Nothing appeared beautiful. No food held any flavor.

 

How, then, could she endure an entire lifetime without him?

 

After completing her second letter of the day, Asena reclined on her bed.

 

Whether or not he read her letters was inconsequential.

 

The mere act of communicating with him provided enough solace.

 

‘How good it would be to receive even a single reply…’

 

But so far, she had yet to elicit any response from him.

 

Asena took out the first and only letter Cayden had sent her.

 

Keirsey had it yesterday, so today it was her turn.

 

She delicately traced the contours of his handwriting on the paper, her mind drifting to Cayden.

 

What could he be doing?

 

What might he be eating?

 

Even if he had rejected her feelings... could he, perhaps, be missing her?

 

With a sigh, she closed her eyes.

 

Before setting off to mail the letter, it seemed she needed a moment to gather herself.

---  End Of The Chapter ---

 

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