Chapter 90: Previous life (5)

[Physis’ POV]

 

Upon opening my eyes, the first sight that greeted me was Adilun. She had unknowingly fallen asleep while watching over me. I wanted to thank her right away, but I couldn’t bear to wake her up.

 

It struck me as odd that someone, who had been ardently calling out to me and waiting for my awakening, would fall asleep so abruptly. However, I soon pieced together the reason.

 

I had witnessed the future Adilun gradually fading away, journeying to an unknown destination. It was more than a mere vanishing act; I could discern traces of her existence dissolving and dispersing...

 

Perhaps, at this very moment, Adilun was facing her future self.

 

I gently cradled her and headed to her room. The night had grown late. It was a serene nighttime landscape, devoid of any awake souls.

 

Her peacefully sleeping face was incredibly charming. If it hadn’t been for her... I might have lost my mind, reverting back to my old temper, possibly losing the very humanity I had come to realize.

 

I softly kissed her on the lips and settled into a chair, keeping watch. I patiently waited, hoping she would overcome her internal confrontation and, when all was said and done, that I’d be the first person she saw.

 

If until now it was my domain, from here on, it would be hers.

 

* * *

[Adilun’s POV]

 

I opened my eyes. I was certain that I had been watching Physis in distress.

 

Where am I?

 

I looked around, and my favorite scenery of Rodenov came into view.

 

Specifically, the bell tower of Caltix Castle caught my attention. I had occasionally frequented its pinnacle to relish the view of Rodenov.

 

And there, I wasn’t alone. I saw the figure of a woman, surrounded by black mist.

 

[ What... is this place? ]

 

As she opened her mouth, the swirling black mist around her began to settle, slowly unveiling her appearance.

 

The ends of her black hair were split and looked ragged. Her blackened, cracked horns were painful to see. Especially the black scales scattered across her body, they were distinctly different from the ones I had shed.

 

Above all... the dark stigma embedded above her chest.

 

Every morning, as I gazed into the mirror, the reflection staring back bore that very face...

 

It was me.

 

“...Me?”

 

[ How... How am I here...? ]

 

“Who are you?”

 

I was certain I had been taking care of distressed Physis. Yet, suddenly pulled into this space, I was now facing myself. A version of me that appeared to bear immense pain and fatigue.

 

For reasons I couldn’t quite explain, I addressed her in the softest of tones, as though comforting a distraught child.

 

She briefly met my gaze, sighed, and then murmured.

 

[ Haa... So that’s how it is. ]

 

“Yes?”

 

In response to my question, she looked up to the sky as if realizing something and then turned her gaze back to me. Her face was full of determination.

 

[ I am you. Adilun Rodenov. To be precise... I am the future you. ]

 

“The future me?”

 

That saddened figure was what I would become in the future?

 

“Perhaps... Can you tell me what happened?”

 

[ Ah, I forgot to explain one thing. To be precise, I am the version of you where Physis never fully repented. ]

 

“...What?”

 

[ In the timeline you are living in now, he has changed. But in the timeline I lived in, he hadn’t. ]

 

“So, you became like this because of him?”

 

[ It wasn’t all his fault. But yes, he was the reason I became like this. Let me explain in detail. ]

 

I was surprised at her words, and perhaps it was because I had shown her kindness, she began to narrate her story with a slightly softened tone.

 

She said that I was currently in a period where time had turned back, and she was the original, the starting point version of me.

 

Unable to overcome the hurt she had received from Physis, she ultimately killed him... making it impossible to mend the relationship with Ortaire.

 

Bearing that pain, she lost her parents to the Demon King and struggled to rebuild the North. She managed to drive out a plague, but her rage at human greed led her to full corruption.

 

From there, she proceeded to annihilate the beings of her continent and moved on to another world, slaughtering its inhabitants.

 

And then... she died with reincarnated Physis and woke up in the place tainted by his inner evil after time was reversed.

 

It was an unbelievable story, but I could accept it.

 

So that explained it...

 

That was why Physis had changed.

 

A mixture of joy and sorrow welled up inside me. I was glad that because he had changed, I could avoid such a tragic fate. But the tragedy experienced by the first version of me made my heart heavy.

 

[ So, you have nothing to worry about. Kind-hearted me... He has completely abandoned his inner evil. Moreover, since you’ve already dealt with the Demon King... You probably won’t have to experience what I did. ]

 

“And what about you?”

 

At my question, the original me gave a bitter smile.

 

[ I guess I’ll have to disappear now. There’s no place for me anywhere. Still... I’m glad that this time the things I loved didn’t shatter. ]

 

“Isn’t there any way for you to continue living?”

 

[ I don’t think so. There’s no place for me. Originally, I could exist where Physis’ evil resided, but even that’s not possible now. ]

 

I couldn’t bear the thought of her simply vanishing. At the core, she was me, wasn’t she? To fade away after traversing such a sorrowful path... it seemed unjust.

 

Watching her slowly dissipate with a look of relief, I impulsively grabbed her hand. A part of my hand darkened, probably because we were the same, she seemed to be affecting me.

 

“So, what about merging with me?”

 

[ Are you in your right mind? I represent pure negativity now. If you accept me, there’s no telling what could happen. It might even distort your relationship with Physis. ]

 

“It’s okay. I’ll overcome it.”

 

[ I don’t know where that confidence comes from, but I refuse. I don’t want to have regrets... not anymore. ]

 

“Let’s live a bit more... together. There could be moments of joy ahead.”

 

[ There might be. However, I’m too spent to cling to such uncertain prospects. ]

 

“So, you’re thinking of just disappearing like this?”

 

[ Yes. I’ve lived too long. I’ve withstood and endured the flow of time... to get here. At least I’m relieved that you guys can be happy. ]

 

I couldn’t say anything. Looking at her exhausted form, I could sense the immense pain and despair she had lived through.

 

However, a sudden thought struck me. If I let her disappear like this, I would regret it for the rest of my life.

 

So, I impulsively grabbed her hand and pulled her into an embrace. It was an instinctual movement. As our contact deepened, I felt a part of me becoming darker... Perhaps doing this might be the solution.

 

And that instinct was right.

 

[ You...! Are you mad? ]

 

“I can overcome it- the storm of negative emotions, the tidal waves. So... Let’s endure it, side by side.”

 

Seeing my stubborn face, she shut her mouth.

 

[ Whether it’s you or Physis... you both are foolish. ]

 

“Maybe. Our likenesses might be why we’re so drawn to one another.”

 

[ ...If you accept me, I might be absorbed by you. And we will become one. The memories and life I’ve lived will weigh heavily on you. You will be yourself but also me. The process will be excruciatingly painful. You might even lose yourself. Still... is that okay? ]

 

Without hesitation, I nodded. I was well aware of the impending pain and trials.

 

But... in doing so, couldn’t she and I become a complete whole? Together, loving the same person, looking forward to the future? Not a painful future, but hoping for a happy one.

 

It was a risky gamble. The chances of success were probably slim.

 

But I had no intention of backing down. Physis would probably hope for the same.

 

“It’s okay. We can overcome it. He will guide you and me, just as I did.”

 

[ ...Alright. Remember, you allowed this. ]

 

With that, my body began to darken, and once again, the scales I had despised started to form.

 

And a wave of negative emotions, coupled with memories filled with despair, washed over me.

 

I let the tidal wave sweep me away, dreaming of hope and certain that if I falter, he would guide me.

 

Surely, he will.

 

* * *

[Physis’ POV]

 

Changes began in the sleeping body of Adilun. Her peacefully resting form shuddered, and scales appeared and receded on her skin. Parts of her arms, legs, and body turned dark and then reverted back to their original color.

 

“Uh...”

 

Pained groans escaped her lips.

 

I quickly approached her. She must have reunited with the future Adilun. And given her kind nature, she must have accepted her.

 

I held her hand, just like she did, and talked to her endlessly.

 

“Adilun, it’s okay. You’ll be alright. You can come back. Don’t be defeated by those negative thoughts. Don’t be consumed by painful memories. Think of the future we will share.”

 

Whispering softly, I painted a picture of our shared future, conveying it to her.

 

Her expression began to soften. Though she still seemed to be in pain, it was clear she was gradually overcoming it.

 

I continued to speak to her. I suggested that once this was over, we should travel. I told her of the vast oceans in the warm southern region and how through them, we might even be able to venture to other continents.

 

Let’s enjoy and experience all the wonderful things out there.

 

Then, gradually, Adilun’s painful moans began to fade. And her body began to stabilize.

 

On her skin, just like the future Adilun, scales began to form. They appeared endearingly on her chin, cheeks, arms, and legs. Unlike before, when they covered her whole body, now they only seemed to enhance her beauty, making her look somewhat more charming.

 

Soon, glimmering white scales gracefully appeared over her slightly exposed nightgown.

 

When the transformation was complete, her eyes snapped open.

 

“…Physis?”

 

“Adilun.”

 

“I’ve accepted it all. I have become the future Adilun, and the future Adilun has become me. Our personalities merged, her memories, my memories, and our emotions have all combined.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Are you... okay with it? I may not be exactly the person you fall in love with.”

 

“No matter who you become... It’s okay because I’m determined to love you.”

 

“…Yes.”

 

“I’m so relieved you’re back, Adilun.”

 

“Thank you for constantly calling out to me. Because of that, I could overcome it.”

 

“I’m sorry that’s all I could do, given how painful it must have been.”

 

“No, it’s okay. If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to overcome it.”

 

“Do you still resent me?”

 

“No. Perhaps we have reached this point because of everything we went through. We hated and grieved each other, but perhaps that’s why we found each other again.”

 

“That might be true.”

 

“That’s why it’s okay. The me who loved you, the me who felt resentful and fell into corruption, and the current me – we’re all the same person. Just like how you, devoid of humanity, the future you who sacrificed your life for others, and the current you, are all the same person. So... it’s okay.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“So now, I suppose there’s one essential thing left to say.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“I love you, Physis.”

 

“…I love you too, Adilun.”

 

We held each other, with nothing more to say, feeling the warmth of each other’s embrace.

 

--- End OF The Chapter ---

 

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